~It's Magic~

• Question: I like your blog sooo... go to tumblrtasks(.)com and sign up. It tells you how to make $$$$ online by doing easy work. Best 10 bucks I ever spent. - Anonymous
• Answer:

  (())

acro-kendingling:

askaceattorney:

Dear Anonymous,

That’s impossible.  Besides the fact they’d never hurt anyone, one of those boys is in a coma and the other one is a paraplegic.  Please don’t start any rumors.

The Berry Big Circus was a family.  There were arguments, sure, but no one would go and kill someone else.  I don’t know who killed me but it had to be someone from outside.

-Russel Berry

-sobs-]]

((RIGHT IN THE FEELS.))

mattengarde:

I made someone who works at the phone company a pretty face.

“That person should be fired, they can’t just give away personal information like that without my consent!”

(via mattengarrde)

mattengarde:

Let me ask someone with two braincells…

…

…

*Max’s phone rings*

“Very funny, sweetie.”

“How in the heck do you still even have my number?”

(via mattengarrde)

Stop.. calling me that. And it’s a metaphor, you simpleton!

“Sorry, it’s a habit of mine.”

“Simpleton? I am no simpleton.”

mattengarde:

Woah, dude. I don’t remember showing you my wee wee.
How did you come to a conclusion such as that?! 

…

Projecting yourself, maybe?

“Well, what else do you expect for an immature child such as yourself, hm?”

(via mattengarrde)

• Question: You, sir, are all pink. Why would a mortal - a male no less - clad themselves in a pink and purple getup? My eyes are bleeding. - greenequalslove
• Answer:

  

  “Well why not, sweetie? It’s the most fabulous colour in the world! I could not settle for anything else.”

  

  “Oh, they are? I don’t see any blood, sweetie.”

mattengarde:

Unfabulous

“Tiny cock.”

(via mattengarrde)

((HI.

SO AS I’M LURKING THIS BLOG.

ANYONE WANT TO TALK TO LE FABULOUS MAX?

))

acro-kendingling:

[[okay before bed I need to post this as well. There used to be a free download version of it but it’s gone. Anyone know where I can find it? I’ll pay you in fanart but only one and it will probably be a doodle. ]]